It's 2018 and the whole world has their 2 cents about everything, but let's dial in on this topic about shaming single mom's, shall we. More specific unmarried single moms.
I came across a post on a social platform that was shaming unmarried mom's for giving their children their fathers last name. *insert moment of silence*
First of all, why is it any of your business? It's not. Second of all...why are you mad?
I'm jumping right off the curb on this one and into the context. For those who do not know me, I am a single mom. So let's declare what that is. A mother who has a dependent child(ern) and is and is the head of her household.
Seems pretty simple, but of course, it's not. Single mom's are shamed for things left and right. They are given unsolicited advice, and led to believe that their situation is their fault.
Where is the support??? These comments and statements are mainly coming from women. Which is not shocking at all, sadly. These almighty sisters come in to spread their beliefs, turn up their noses, and judge. NOT TODAY! You're all up in the Kool-aid and don't even know the flavor!
Stop making assumptions on people's situations when you have no idea what's going on. You want to sit on your high and mighty horse and judge others. Meanwhile, the father of this woman's child is doing more for them than some of your no good ass husband's. Stop the madness!
I know some people may be thinking, this is coming from a defensive place, trust me it's not, it's all facts. Not to mention, some parents choose to co-parent, that IS a thing ya know. Just because you don't see a woman showcasing how much her child's father does for them, doesn't mean that he is no good and she is spiteful. Stop shaming people for living THEIR LIVES just because you feel like you "did it right." How about you use that energy to uplift folk, instead of being messy.
Yes, technically, I am a single mom. I didn't used to always own that title, because the judging committee used to make me feel that what I was doing was wrong because I wasn't married. That used to bother me to the core. But I learned to own who I was, as a woman and as a mom. I remember a very wise guy telling me once that, a family is one built on love, not the circumstances.
Being a mom is one of the most challenging jobs a woman will ever have in her lifetime. I used to feel that I was doing this mom thing all wrong because my family wasn't under one roof. I used to have this idea that once we were all under the same roof and were finally a two parent household, everything would come into play. That was until I started befriending more married friends. Happily married, might I add. I quickly came to realize that just because a husband was present didn't mean that they didn't feel the same pressure I felt as a mom. They often times, depending on their situation, also played the role of a single mom.
People's opinions, are simply that. What people are not allowed to do is shame me for living my life the way I choose. The way that works best for me and my child; my child who not only has his father's last name, but is a Jr.
Ladies, being a single mom isn't a shameful thing. I know most women wear this title proudly, but there are many out there who still struggle with this, as I once did. Don't let the outside world change who you are. You know the best decisions for you and your family. Being a single mom does not at all mean that you have to be a struggling mom, as the world likes to depict us. I just want to take the time to remind you that you are a powerful, courageous Queen! Don't ever let the world make you feel less than that.